Stretching the upper body, grabbing my feet with my hands, it's the first time I smell my body odor for months. Normally the crystal rock deodorant removes the fragrance of my sweat, allowing me to change settings according to my current needs: oxytocine for invoking trust and desire, rosemary for mindful focus and clarity, citrus for energy and refreshment or lavender for balance and relaxation. Most of the time, however, neutral is preferred, as it allows attending meetings without causing any olfactory arousal.
She had asked me out for lunch. It was one of those days when the park is full of suits, all acting like they never need to return to the office, but only ever taking breaks from discussing business to sip their coffee. She had laughed when I told her that I didn't drink coffee. I wonder what she'd say now that I've replaced alcohol with self-brewed kombucha. Now that I've stopped working. Or, I stopped going to work, but I'm still occupied, spending most of the days stretching, meditating or taking care of plants. Somehow it feels like I don't have time to watch moving images, and I can't read anything longer than a poem or a tweet.
I start my day with a detoxing and alkalizing green juice with ginger. Then follows 20 minutes of a custom yoga routine and 20 minutes fast paced walking, before I sit down and meditate for yet another 20 minutes. I always rest on the same pillow of moss and lichen. It's my desk chair, backless and ergonomic, as if to avoid excess strain of the arms while operating the interface. Closing my eyes, I become water, feeling how each breath sends vibrations through the body. I try to reach a state of equilibrium, keeping the water surface completely tranquil.
The sky is perfectly azure blue, I snapchat a picture of it, as a moment of Zen. I receive responses asking «you're outside!?» or saying «thanks could use a blue screen right now, deadline in five». I remember learning to deal with the stress of others by imagining that they were just wind or leaves brushing against me. And just as I wouldn't feel angry or anxious from a breath of air, I should simply notice their stress and calmly carry on. But how to apply this when the trees are your only colleagues, and their rustling leaves are the only things that can tip your balance? The sound of distant traffic reminds me of air condition. I try to relax, but it's too hot.
